The Burger Games
by Maybelle Gregory
Summary: An exciting Hunger Games twist which is, quite literally, the Hunger Games.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: The First Hamburger

A long time in the future, in a galaxy not so far away, there was a country called Hungry. The citizens of Hungry were oppressed by their morbidly obese dictator, President Yum. The country was split into 13 separate districts that were designed to efficiently produce certain culinary delicacies. 75% of the food produced was transported to the Capitol to feed the richer, plumper citizens that resided there. However, over half of the overall production barely fed President Yum alone.

One bright, sunny day in the middle of July, the president decided to throw a barbeque in order to quench his craving for the juicy delicacy from District 13, hamburgers. District 13 was tired of making and eating only hamburgers. They decided it was time to demand a healthier diet, so they revolted against the Capitol and refused to serve President Yum his hamburgers. In response, President Yum demanded that the whole of District 13 be demolished through Mad Cow disease. It was a complete genocide.

Exactly one year later, President Yum began craving a hamburger once again. Since District 13 no longer existed, and was therefore unable to make hamburgers, he had to send one boy and one girl from each district to the top of Mount Vesuvius to retrieve a hamburger. The person to bring President Yum the hamburger would be rewarded with enormous amounts of gold and a varied diet. But there was a catch: only one tribute was allowed to survive, it was a fight to the burger.

Every year, all the teenagers in the districts would gather in their town square to have their young lives gambled in the reaping. One boy and one girl would be chosen as tribute. Their names would be called from the platform in the square, and their lives would more than likely be cut short.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Lunch Time  
From the POV of Genesis

**AN: This was written by an emo chick and a blonde. The parts written by the emo are italicized. **

My mind was almost completely blank. I could think of nothing save the fear that was currently burrowed deep inside my brain. Today was the reaping. It was possible that today would be one of my last days on Earth. I was rigid with dread. I heard Dolores Umbridge call a name that was not mine. I felt a presence move from my left and wander towards the stage. I allowed myself to relax and felt relief knowing that I was not the female tribute from District 12.

"And now for the boys!" Umbridge shrilled. Her bony hands with hot pink talons attached at the fingertips dug into the glass bowl with small scraps of paper inside. The papers wiggled and rustled until Umbridge pulled one from the middle with a satisfied smile smeared across her face.  
"Michael Hugnkiss!"

My jaw dropped, my mouth fell agape. No. No. It couldn't be my little brother.  
"I volunteer!" The words were out of my mouth before I even knew what I was doing. My feet were carrying me towards the stage, my right hand stretched upwards towards the sky.

Dolores looked skeptical. "We uh . . . we usually don't allow two female tributes, but I guess since you volunteered . . ." she stuttered.

I looked over my left shoulder to see my best friend Charlotte standing on the stage next to me. Charlotte was a tall, slender _emo_ with waist-length ebony hair. She'd been my best friend since primary school, _back before she made the pact with Satan_, I couldn't imagine how my life would be without her. Yet here we were, soon to be forced into _killing each other _over a burger.

"And now," Dolores Umbridge _screeched_, "for the Sorting Hat!" She motioned for an old, musty hat to come onto the stage. "This hat," Umbridge explained, "_is very old and much smarter than any of you. _Once placed on the tribute's head it will decide the weapon to be provided to that tribute based on their personality." She removed the hat from its pedestal and placed it on Charlotte's head.

"_Razorblades_!" the Sorting Hat _boomed. _"_**FUCK YEAH**_!" Charlotte cheered, _mimicking slitting motions on her wrist. She pointed at the camera and screamed, "__**THAT'S FOR YOU, OTHER TRIBUTES!**__"_  
"I'm with her!" I proclaimed. Charlotte pulled off the old hat and reached in to find a set of Gillette Fusion Power  blades, _the kind she used to use all the time in middle school when the jocks would bully her._

Umbridge took the Sorting Hat from _the over-excited emokid _and shoved it onto my head. The Sorting Hat frowned and exclaimed, "There's nothing in her head! She gets mirrors!"

"Yes! I love mirrors! I love seeing my face!" I squealed, jumping up and down. I yanked the hat off my head and pulled out my favorite diamond-studded hand mirror that I had seen while window shopping yesterday.

Dolores Umbridge rushed us off the stage into the Capitol building to say our final goodbyes to our loved ones. "May the odds be ever in your favor!" she said as the mahogany door slammed shut behind us. Umbridge ushered us into our separate rooms where we could get to say goodbye to our families 'n' closest friends. My mom, dad, brother and the whole cheerleading squad, chanting "BE AGGRESSIVE. BE, BE AGGRESSIVE," was there. I could hear Charlotte crying faintly, and probably slitting her wrists with her new Gillette Fusion Power  razorblades in the adjacent room. _Charlotte's mom, dad, and sister all died in a group suicide the previous year. Charlotte only missed out on the group suicide because she missed the 522 bus from school to her house. It was the most tragic moment she could recall. I knew that she was probably having fun with her new __Gillette Fusion Power ____ razorblades though, so I didn't pity her_. My brother hugnkissed me and thanked me for volunteering for him. I hugged my whole family (that included the cheerleaders) and they wished me luck in my future homicides. The cheerleaders and I performed our last pyramid trick.

It was then time for Charlotte and I to board the Capitol Express train, so I blew them all a kiss and promised to send them postcards. It all happened so quickly that Mother Hugnkiss barely had time to ask me if I had remembered to pack a towel as I was pushed out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: That Snack Between Lunch and Dinner, Like When You Get Home From School And You're Hungry But You Don't Want To Spoil Your Dinner So You Just A Hand Full Of Goldfish Or Something

Charlotte's POV

**AN: There's a Facebook page for The Burger Games now. SUPPORT OUR CAUSE. TheBurgerGames**

The train ride was uneventful and boring. We were on the train for about 11 minutes and 23.16 seconds, which was far too long. By the second minute I felt like slitting my wrists with my Gillette Fusion Power razorblades, but I didn't want to make them dull before the Burger Games began, so I refrained and just used a butter knife. I had to refrain from hanging myself with one of the silk napkins because Genesis would not stop playing One Direction. She's my best friend, but she could be annoying as fuck at times. She was still hot, though.

Genesis had long, perfectly curled blonde hair and ocean blue eyes. _I wanted to rip all her hair out and sew it into a blanket, and her eyes would be perfect for a charm bracelet. _Her appearance made up for her complete lack of brain functions. Genesis was the stupidest person I had ever, or ever would meet. I envied her childlike naivety and innocence to the brutality of the world.

As the Capitol Express pulled into the station flamboyantly dressed alien Captiolists crowded around us, cheering our names and clapping their hands. I strolled nonchalantly off of the train _and contemplated how many people would witness my death if I decided to commit suicide at this very moment._

Another train pulled into the station from the direction of District 1. Genesis and I watched as the infamous Prince Eric marched off of the train. He glared at us and triumphantly thrust his sword into the air, screaming a war cry before walking away. Behind him they wheeled out his wife, a redheaded mermaid clutching a Nerf Super Soaker Water Blaster ©, in a 100 gallon fish tank.

Genesis and I were rushed into a towering structure before we could watch the tributes from the next train join us in the station. We were escorted to the top story of the building where one of the worst motel rooms I had ever seen was waiting for us. There was only one bed, which I was happy about. I got to share a twin size bed with Genesis.

I bet the wealthier districts got a five star room with at least 10 different beds to choose from. _I would slit wrists if I had to choose from that many beds. _Just choosing between the front seat and the back seat is difficult. I mean, which seat can I take?

Dolores Umbridge skipped into our room. "Time for the Tribute's Parade!" she sang. She grabbed Genesis and my wrists and dragged us out of our room and down 12 flights of stairs into the lobby. We were greeted by our stylists. _My stylist stripped me down and dressed me in a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. Genesis was wearing a bright pink polo with a little seagull on the (right or left? I can't remember) side. Below that, she was wearing a denim miniskirt with the "destroyed" look on it. Paired underneath that skirt were leggings with a little moose at the bottom. And she was carrying a pretty bag with an eagle on it that said Live Your Life written all over the bag. (Stolen from "My Immortal")._

After we finished dressing we were whisked away to our chariot. Our chariot was shaped as a celery stick to represent District 12's vegetable industry. Everyone in District 12 was extremely skinny because of their vegetarian diet, unlike most of the people from District 10 who only ate ice cream. Luke and Leia Skywalker, the two tributes from 10, were probably the only skinny people from that district.

The chariots wheeled out into the streets, and for the first time I got a good look at all of my opponents. _I felt attractive for the first time in my life, because all of the tributes aside from one bronze-haired boy from 4 were pretty fucking ugly. Especially that ivory-skinned girl with him, she seemed like a whiney little bitch._

The chariots made a loop through the city, Genesis and mine was trailing behind. The residents of the Capitol lined the street, cheering and throwing _rocks_ and various food items at us. They were all so excited. _They pissed me off, I glared at one little boy until he started crying and had to be taken home._ When our chariot finally pulled into the town square President Yum released a flock of doves and _the Kraken._

The rest of the day was uneventful.


End file.
